I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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