discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
