it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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