he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
