He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
