your thong is hanging out like whoa
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
