He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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