I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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