I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
In America we eat man semen.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
