I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
