hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
