Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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