Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
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