C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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