She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
