her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
