1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize