he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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