In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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