You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
