you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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