Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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