Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
