i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
