If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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