I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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