i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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