you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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