I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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