Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
my being single is dangerous.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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