So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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