Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
