I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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