My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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