You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
