idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
