I need help removing her.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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