does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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