Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
