already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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