I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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