I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
