My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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