can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize