we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
they're like a gay fantastic four
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
