Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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