Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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