Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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