I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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