Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Dick very happy bro
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