did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i need an iv and a liver transplant
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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