Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize