yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
