there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Bring me that man meat
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
