It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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