k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
